Gooooood Morning POTTY People!
We hope you and your family or whoever you celebrated with had a fantastic Easter Weekend and for those of you celebrating, a Happy Passover too!
Let us begin this week’s blog with a crowd favorite game… Guess How Many!
The rules are simple…
Step # 1: Guess how many POTTYMINTS you think are in the Easter bucket!
Step #2: Comment your Guess on the post below!
Step #3: The closest Guess without going over... Wins a Fantastic Prize!
*If we have multiple right answers then the bag goes to the earliest comment*
The WINNER will be announced the week of April 18th, so stay posted on our socials for the results!
Now onto the blog…
In honor of the holidays, we wanted to continue a tradition we started during the pandemic…
We have all lived through a once in a lifetime pandemic… and if you havent stopped at some point these past two years and said to yourself…
“This seems oddly biblical…” then this week’s blog is for you…
This week… with no further ado… we present to you… The 10 Plagues of 2022!
(*Let us begin by stating the obvious… We are a Bathroom Blog… We hold no religious power, nor did we write this humorous piece trying to persuade or convert anyone… we simply want you to have some fun reading material as you use the POTTY*)
#10: The Plague of Wifi Outages
We hate to start this list off with such a traumatic one… but we have all experienced a Wifi Outage…
No Tik Tok, No Instagram… No Netflix… #thehorror
This forces you into the uncomfortable situation that is… spending quality face to face time with each other… gross!
The other thing that typically happens is… your family has one designated “tech guy/gal” who is the go-to person for a situation like this
Like Seal-Team 6 they arrive on the scene… and like a skilled bomb-diffuser, they carefully…
Unplug the router and plug it back in…
Watch out Elon Musk… you’ve got some competition
#9: The Plague of Post-Pandemic Conversation
You would think that with two years to catch up on… we would have more to talk about
Let’s keep this one brief… you did nothing these past two years
In telling people about your newfound passion for baking bread, podcasts and gardening… you quickly realize… you’ve become boring
We don't want to hear about how seriously you were taking the pandemic, we don't want to hear about how you’ve been showering with a mask… We don't care
Let's keep it brief… “How have you been? How was the Pandemic for you?
Simply respond - “Still Here!” and keep it moving!
#8: The Plague of Post-Pandemic Airport Travel
Remember how you spent the past two years trying to avoid people at all costs…
Now you are sitting on a Jet Blue flight in the middle seat, next to that guy who makes a scene out of “sneezing” and that other person that keeps the mask over their mouth…but absolutely not over their nose.
Everyone wants to start a conversation about the last time they were in an airport… or traveled
…that’s like reading aloud the places you’ve been on your passport over the airplane microphone
… keep it to yourself
#7: The Plague of Traffic
Remember driving during the pandemic…
and best of all No Traffic!
Now, I find myself literally waiting in line for 4 hours… to get gas for my car…#yay
#6: The Plague of “I’m Not a Doctor… BUT”
Let’s keep this one short
There is no “but”...
If you are Not a Doctor… and you are speaking on something medical… or prescribing someone a medication or treatment plan…
You couldn’t complete the children’s game “Operation”... your opinion doesn’t matter
#5: The Plague of Joro Spiders
While back in biblical times, they had the plagues of locusts…
We are not going to lie, over the past two years… we have seen a lot
SWARMS of Cicadas, Murder Hornets… and now this year… Joro Spiders
Yes, Joro Spiders are this year's hottest new trend…
No joke, these spiders can fly, making small parachutes with their webs and riding the wind like a sail…
Luckily for us, the Joro is not strong enough to bite through the skin of humans, cats or dogs.
Not going to lie… we got lucky on that one
#4: The Plague of Public Restrooms
One might think that amidst a pandemic where we wiped down every single surface with precision - that we would prioritize cleanliness moving forward
If you have been to a Public Restroom since the pandemic began… you know just as well as anyone, that this is simply not the case.
For whatever reason, Public Restrooms appear to be home to Shamu from Sea World, as the floor is covered in over an inch of water
Using a Public Restroom, sitting down and feeling the warmth the previous person is like finding out that your PCR test was used by the person before you… gross
No amount of POTTYMINTS can fix this one… just saying!
#3: The Plague of Those People That Still Zoom
We have said it once, and we will say it again - Zoom made everyday conversations, into conference calls
The idea of a Zoom Happy Hour, is realistically a lonely person drinking by themselves, alone in their sweatpants
They aren't on a beach in the tropics… they are alone in their underwear… drinking alcohol out of their only clean coffee mug
You survived a pandemic… go outside and get a drink.
#2: The Plague of Politics
I’m not going to lie… I am over Politics
While we all could have used these past two years to rethink the way we treat each other, rethink the way we discuss difficult issues, and regain a sense of civility after an incredibly painful two years… It appears we did none of that.
Much like the person reading their Passport destinations to you… I am equally as interested in hearing your Political points.
Talk about literally anything else… in fact, I would argue… commonality is probably the best place to start… Regardless of the conversation!
You are MUCH more than a Democrat or a Republican or an Independant…
If America is truly about freedom to do things, and the pursuit of happiness… lets hear about what makes you happy!
Enough Politics… Let’s talk about ANYTHING else!
#1: The Plague of a “Sour Attitude”
If you are reading this blog… Congratulations! It turns out - you are pandemic proof!
While others were not so lucky, due to a myriad of reasons… you were
The question is… with this newfound perspective on life - what are you going to with it?
Perhaps you have had someone in your family who (god forbid) was in a bad accident or unfortunately diagnosed with a life threatening disease… and miraculously, they overcame it!
What are you going to do with this newfound appreciation for life itself?
As Mark Twain once said: “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
So we will leave you this week with this little message, let’s quickly think quickly about the holidays of both Easter and Passover…
Both Holidays deal with the concept of “Rebirth”
Thats why both holidays highlight the symbolism of the Egg… a fantastic symbol for life
These Holidays remind us of exactly that, the fragility of life…
That any one of these plagues COULD have killed us… but somehow… they didnt
And whether or not you attribute that second chance at life to a God-like figure or not - is, ultimately not the point.
The point is… You’ve been given a second chance… What are you going to do with it?
On behalf of all of those who were not lucky enough to read this blog, or celebrate these holidays with their families and friends…
We celebrate these holidays in their memory, that we may never forget how lucky we are to be alive - and that we dont take a moment for granted.
Happy Holidays and have a great week!