I consider myself to be pretty daring…
I started my own company tackling bathroom odors…
I’ve been on the Tallest and Fastest Roller Coaster in the World…
I’ve jumped out of a Plane from 10,000 feet…
And yet…
Every time I decide enter a Public Restroom – I’m terrified
There are few things in life less scary than using the Starbucks Bathroom.
While we understand that in these “trying” times – perhaps the absolute LAST thing to open up will be Public Restrooms.
We think that we would at least offer some ground rules for Public Restrooms
… after all
Bathrooms are kind of our thing.
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Automated Bathroom Sensors Need to be Improved
I am not the first to say this…
…But I often find myself fumbling around like an unsuccessful magician…
Waving my hands aimlessly trying to get Paper Towels and Soap from the automated dispenser
To the innocent bystander… the image of you waving “hello” to a Paper Towel dispenser is a puzzling.
Often times, even with a normal wave of the hands, the machine will not respond…
… That’s when I employ the “Jazz Hands” Method
Worst of all the sensors is what I call the “Impatient Flusher” …
We have all been there… sitting on the toilet
When all of the sudden… the “Impatient Flusher” decides to go rogue
… You aren’t even close to wrapping up
… and suddenly…
Like the “Sandman” at the Apollo Theater… it appears your time is up
… Not to worry
…The “Impatient Flusher” also takes the initiative to lightly spray your privates with the residual water from the bowl… Yay!
Additionally, you now think of the optics of your current situation…
Everyone in the bathroom now thinks you are the type of person who NEEDS to flush twice…
We put a Man on the moon, I am pretty sure we can fix this.
Needing A Code to Use the Public Restroom
The only thing more embarrassing than using a Chipotle Bathroom…
… Is waiting in the cue…
…passing all of the possible burrito options
… Looking directly into the eyes of the Chipotle Employees…
… They’ve seen that look of desperation before
… You don’t need a “Water Cup”
… You get to the Cash Register
… and humbly ask if you can get the Bathroom Code
Ah… the Bathroom Code
Like the quest for the Holy Grail…
This four-digit code is the only thing preventing you from nirvana.
…Bathroom Nirvana.
“1,2,3,4”… Who Would Have Guessed?!?
Our Suggestion:
In an effort to make it more fun –Why not replace the codes with tricky Riddles!
Like an “Escape the Room” contestant …
Watch as the cue for the bathroom fills up as people frantically try and decipher the code…
… before the time runs out.
But seriously:
For the Sake of All of Us: Please Get Rid of the whole concept of Bathroom Codes
Public Restrooms: No Place for Photoshoots
We here at POTTYMINTS pride ourselves on keeping what happens in the bathroom… in the bathroom.
And yet…
It seems that many people jump at the opportunity to take full advantage of the “generous lighting”
Ah yes, the #publicrestroomselfie…
“Mirror Face” and all…
The perfect way to spruce up your LinkedIn Profile Picture.
While we will admit…
…The sheer confidence to take a picture of yourself in a Public Restroom is impressive
Much like bringing Balloons to a Funeral… now is not the time or place.
By all means, take your time – I’ll just be here washing my hands judging you with every picture you take.
Feel free to include a sliver of my face in your picture, when you decide to crop and edit!
Public Restrooms are like seeing your Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend… let’s keep it brief
We doubt Tyra Banks discovers you from this selfie…
…Especially in the JFK Airport Bathroom
Our Suggestion:
You know the phrase “Pictures tell a thousand words” …
On behalf of all of us…… Bathroom Selfies are 1,000 words too many
As we have said before, we do these blog posts to bring a little levity in these crazy times!
BUT, we want to remind everyone to please be safe and continue to wash your hands!
… And if for some reason, you can’t get the Automatic Sink Dispenser to work
… Find the nearest Chipotle
POTTYMINTS
