Goooooood Morning Potty People!
This is it people… Thanksgiving is mere days away!
While the Holiday itself is beautiful (in theory), sitting down with loved ones, and taking a moment to express how thankful you are for everything… its truly a beautiful holiday!
Unfortunately, if you volunteered to host your families Thanksgiving Dinner this year… we are praying for you!
You see… there are few things in life more stressful than Hosting a Thanksgiving Dinner.
It all begins in the days before Thanksgiving, going to your local Supermarket in the early hours of the morning…
While you typically like to go to the store to peruse the aisles, speak with friends, and get some free samples…
Thanksgiving Shopping is not your typical shopping experience…
Never before has Mixed Martial Arts Fighting been required to purchase “Yams”…
Bringing Brass Knuckles to Whole Foods is a Red Flag…
We have even seen some desperate Mothers on Thanksgiving morning, dressed in camouflage, attempting to catch and kill the Wild Turkeys that have been seen by the side of the road by Exit 2…
Not only that… but once you get the ingredients themselves… you have to perform the yearly miracle that is fitting all the food you just bought, into your refrigerator.
Once you complete that … the cooking begins.
Even though your Culinary background primarily includes burning toast… you are now tasked to cook a FEAST for 16 people… including cooking a Turkey.
Ahhhh yes… the Turkey – one of the more difficult meats to cook… and wouldn’t you know it… you’re Vegetarian! Yay!
Not only that, but most Supermarkets then give you the whole Turkey… the WHOLE Turkey!
So now … you are forced to look directly at a Turkey which appears to just had the best Brazilian wax of his/her life…
Then… with no medical training whatsoever… you reach your hand into the bird’s anus…
… only to discover… like the worst Cracker Jack Prize in History… You found its Neck and “Giblets”!... Yay, Congrats!
Here is the fun part… unlike other types of meat where you can set it and forget it…
Turkey, unfortunately, requires two shots of what appears to be the “Pfizer Vaccine” Brine – administered twice an hour to help keep the meat juicy and free from the Delta Variant!
Now you would think that a 15lb bird would be enough to fill up you and your guests for the entirety of the Winter…
Unfortunately, as we all know Thanksgiving Turkey can’t be eaten on its own…
So the cooking doesn’t stop there… Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes with the Marshmallows, Gravy, Stuffing, Veggies….
As you frantically try and finish cooking, while simultaneously fanning the oven smoke away from the fire alarm, then injecting the Turkey with the Vaccine Brine, Peeling the Potatoes, Making the Pie Crust…
Meanwhile, your guests appear to be in a small coma, barely moving – watching football and eating chips on the living room couch.
And when it is time to finally eat… you remember… you also have to clean it all up! Yay!
So to all of you out there hosting your family or friends this Thanksgiving, we salute you!
Here is a Quick Pro-Pottymints Tip: For those Hosting Thanksgiving
Before your guests arrive, Take 3 POTTYMINTS and drop them into the back of the tank- that way, when your guests flush – new fragrance water will replenish the water (clearly) and keep you bathroom smelling great for hours!
We apologize in advance for our Thanksgiving jokes… they are a bit corn-ey!
Let’s get into this week’s Potty Picks!
If you are anything like us, Thanksgiving Day is not complete without watching The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!
As kids, we used to go the night before Thanksgiving to watch the balloons being blown up, and always wondered how they made these tremendous floats and balloons!
Lucky for you all, thanks to a quick google search, we were able to find some fascinating information!
So for any of you who, like us, have been curious as to how they pull it off!
Check out our Video of the Week here!
As we mentioned, earlier in the blog, we have profound respect for those of you cooking for Thanksgiving,
So we figured the least we could do is give you some cooking tunes!
This week, we feature 5 of our favorite songs to cook to in this weeks Potty Picks, featuring music from: Jack Johnson, Leon Bridges, Feist, Van Morrison and Bobby McFerrin!
Now every once in a while, we find a video so perfect… we honestly cant believe what the internet Gods have given us.
This is one of those instances.
While we here at POTTYMINTS love the idea of a Bathroom Buddy, or someone who can join you on a trip to the Bathroom…
Using the Bathroom is a personal, non-communal experience – one where you don’t really want to make friends or keep in touch with people afterwords…
But then again, we are in the giving spirit, and we think this Thanksgiving Video from “Stall Bro” called “Thanksgiving Under the Stall” is perhaps the most perfect Bathroom Moment of the Week for this week…
Thank you all for joining us for this week’s special Thanksgiving Edition of “Potty Time with POTTYMINTS!”
We are truly beyond thankful for each and every one of you!
As we said, Thanksgiving is not about the meal, its not about the story of the Pilgrims, and its not about the Macy’s Day Parade…
Thanksgiving allows us all to take a moment to pause, look around, and realize how lucky we all are to have what we have.
Whether that’s Family, whether that’s Food, whether that’s a roof over your head, or money in your pocket… or honestly the fact that we are all eating together once again.
So this week, we wanted to conclude our blog with a quote about Gratitude from American motivational writer, William Arthur Ward.
Thank you all for your constant support for POTTYMINTS, as well as myself and my sister!
From our Family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!
Suzanna and Matthew